Bullying - how to resist bullying?
Bullying occurs among both children and adults. It is especially ruthless in adolescent groups. Interestingly, there is also bullying among animals, when a group of weak individuals unites and attacks a stronger animal.
What should you do if you are a victim of bullying?
Bullying and conflict are not the same thing
First, you need to learn to distinguish between bullying and conflict in the team, because these situations have completely different solutions. Conflict is a natural and normal part of social life, although not very pleasant. Interests and points of view of different people collide. In a conflict situation, you can (and should) conduct a dialogue, seek a compromise, defend your point of view, or make concessions. Both sides of the conflict are usually interested in resolving it.
But bullying is a completely different situation, it is already a type of psychological violence. The fact is that those who arrange bullying are usually interested in the process itself. They like the very fact of insulting, humiliating their victim. Abusers do not even try to conduct a dialogue and look for a solution to the situation.
Bullying usually takes a long time. The victim gradually gets tired of resisting, and this can further aggravate the situation, giving pleasure to the offender.
Bullying can be vertical and horizontal. "Vertical” is usually directed from top to bottom, when the boss can humiliate and literally mock the subordinate. "Horizontal" bullying is bullying between colleagues or team members who are approximately equal in status.
How to behave if you are a victim of bullying?
Let's discuss with you the main ways out of the situation of bullying. Leave the team or stay? Fight to the end, negotiate or seek help? And how to get out of bullying with the least psychological losses?
Step one-try to figure out what's going on
Try to understand who has a role in the group of abusers. Who is the instigator, and who-just joined “for the company". Who has their own opinion and who follows the majority opinion. Who is only a spectator, who is on whose side, who can sympathize with you. And if you are alone, try to find an ally.
Step two-try entering the dialog
Dialogue is sometimes a very strong move, because the other side does not expect it at all. But for the victim of bullying, it will be important to get the conversation right. Not to fawn, not to humiliate – on the one hand. But do not set yourself up to be hostile and do not look down on the other side.
It is better to have a dialogue with the instigator or with the decision-maker in the group.
Try to ask openly and understand – what is the reason for this situation? What rules did you break? What exactly do the abusers want? Can you turn bullying into a conflict where there is a solution that suits both sides?
At this stage, you can involve the management and give them information about what is happening. The Manager can either take administrative measures in this situation, or become a moderator in your dialogue with the abuser.
Перевод: Ушурова Ясмина https://incatalog.kz/
What should you do if you are a victim of bullying?
Bullying and conflict are not the same thing
First, you need to learn to distinguish between bullying and conflict in the team, because these situations have completely different solutions. Conflict is a natural and normal part of social life, although not very pleasant. Interests and points of view of different people collide. In a conflict situation, you can (and should) conduct a dialogue, seek a compromise, defend your point of view, or make concessions. Both sides of the conflict are usually interested in resolving it.
But bullying is a completely different situation, it is already a type of psychological violence. The fact is that those who arrange bullying are usually interested in the process itself. They like the very fact of insulting, humiliating their victim. Abusers do not even try to conduct a dialogue and look for a solution to the situation.
Bullying usually takes a long time. The victim gradually gets tired of resisting, and this can further aggravate the situation, giving pleasure to the offender.
Bullying can be vertical and horizontal. "Vertical” is usually directed from top to bottom, when the boss can humiliate and literally mock the subordinate. "Horizontal" bullying is bullying between colleagues or team members who are approximately equal in status.
How to behave if you are a victim of bullying?
Let's discuss with you the main ways out of the situation of bullying. Leave the team or stay? Fight to the end, negotiate or seek help? And how to get out of bullying with the least psychological losses?
Step one-try to figure out what's going on
Try to understand who has a role in the group of abusers. Who is the instigator, and who-just joined “for the company". Who has their own opinion and who follows the majority opinion. Who is only a spectator, who is on whose side, who can sympathize with you. And if you are alone, try to find an ally.
Step two-try entering the dialog
Dialogue is sometimes a very strong move, because the other side does not expect it at all. But for the victim of bullying, it will be important to get the conversation right. Not to fawn, not to humiliate – on the one hand. But do not set yourself up to be hostile and do not look down on the other side.
It is better to have a dialogue with the instigator or with the decision-maker in the group.
Try to ask openly and understand – what is the reason for this situation? What rules did you break? What exactly do the abusers want? Can you turn bullying into a conflict where there is a solution that suits both sides?
At this stage, you can involve the management and give them information about what is happening. The Manager can either take administrative measures in this situation, or become a moderator in your dialogue with the abuser.
Перевод: Ушурова Ясмина https://incatalog.kz/